


Sins Not Tragedies

by WolvenFighter



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anal Sex, Cheating, Falling In Love, First gay experience, Friendship/Love, Gay Sex, Homosexuality, Intimacy, Love Confessions, M/M, Oral Sex, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-03-26 15:18:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13860456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolvenFighter/pseuds/WolvenFighter
Summary: Phillip had never been one for love, small talk or anything to do with happiness and light... But when a bright-eyed Showman strolled into his life, top hat and all, smooth talking and manipulating him into turning his back on the treachery and misery of his life as an aristocrat play producer, he finally got a taste of what love could be... Good things never last, but sometimes what you really need is something you'd never expect.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Been wanting to do this fic since I saw the movie and I (unashamedly) ship the FUCK out of these two so enjoy! I dunno how long this will be, my original plan is just a few parts but with all my other fics we'll see how it goes.
> 
> And yes I got the inspiration for the title from THAT song.

_The show must go on._

Those words echoed in the protege's ears _still_ after six months of the one and only Phineas Taylor Barnum had passed the fate of the show to him... And just like that, he disappeared. In Barnum's defense, he didn't disappear for the sake of disappearing, he and his family did some much-needed traveling. However, Phillip couldn't help but feel a small sting as he laid in bed at night with Ann in his arms. He looked down to her and then to the clock at his bedside table, it was about three o'clock in the morning and he could tell he wasn't going to get back to sleep.

Phillip carefully unraveled Anne's arms from around him and sat up, running a hand over his face, he felt so drained, not because of the show or because of Barnum... He didn't know what was going on... It frustrated Phillip, he was always in control of what he was feeling and acted accordingly whether it be drinking himself into a stupor or putting on a fake smile.

He hadn't touched alcohol in months and he was doing well, his alcoholism was still a losing battle though... He got urges every day...

Phillip took a deep breath and stood up, pausing and looking over to Anne, she was so beautiful... So pure and too good for him. She was always so worried about Phillip changing his mind but deep within Phillip, he knew that in the end when she saw the person he really was... The bitter, miserable and angry alcoholic... She would know to run and run far. He reached down and pulled the covers up around her securely, she wasn't living with him yet but multiple nights a week she was staying at his house.

The way she looked at him, it made him physically ill because he didn't deserve such a loving and happy gaze. He would ruin it... He would ruin that happiness...

Fuck he hated the thoughts like these... They made him want to drink and drink  _a lot._ He quickly walked to his wardrobe and dressed in a half-assed fashion, it's not like anyone was going to see him. He ended up putting a wrinkled white dress shirt and a pair of black pants, not even willing to tuck his shirt in, he just rolled up his sleeves and lazily slicked his hair back with his fingers before he slipped on his shoes and quietly shut the door behind him.

The summer months were always his favorite, he didn't have to worry about an overcoat or boots to keep him from slipping in the snow... He didn't even know where the fuck he was going he was just... Going. He found himself walking to the dark tent, he sighed softly, he felt so pathetic... Knowing that some part of him was hoping Phineas would be here, why he missed that slightly pompous man he would never know... But everyone missed him so at least it was a common theme.

Walking inside, Phillip reached out a hand and gently ran a palm over the pillars that kept the tent up, the smell of straw, fire, and peanuts heavily in the air. That scent used to make him nauseous but now... It made him feel at home, much more than his actual apartment.

He could remember the conversation so vividly between him and his parents about Ann, how he confessed that Ann was the love that he had been needing... And his parents threatening to cut him off. For the first time in Phillip's life, he didn't give a single fuck about pleasing his parents. He left that night... With the profits of the circus, he was still able to afford a rather upscale apartment in his favorite part of town... The part of town with all the bars.

Phillip shook his head and sighed, biting his lip roughly until he suddenly slammed his fist into the pillar, hearing a loud crack in the wood, the pain surging through his arm and up his shoulder. He didn't cry out, he didn't even make a sound... He just released a slow and deep sigh of frustration as he pulled his fist back and looked at it. Thankfully he didn't break any fingers or any bones in his hand it seemed.

Thankfully something was able to distract Phillip from his self-loathing, he could hear a carriage approaching, who would be coming here at this hour? A vandal? A thief? A thug? Phillip looked around and quickly sprinted towards the bleachers and hid away. He could hear the carriage coming to a stop, Phillip looked around and noted a stray plank of wood, he took ahold of it in his bruised hand as he waited.

He listened carefully, hearing footsteps slowly approaching and Phillip crouched, rigid from the nerves. When he could hear the footsteps approaching closer, Phillip stepped out and readied to strike the assailant with a battle cry. Though the person was a master of reflexes because he jumped forward, narrowly missing the hit, though when Phillip reared his hand back to strike again the face the greeted him was far from unwelcome.

"B-Barnum?" He asked.

"Phillip? What in god's name are you doing here at this time of night?" Phineas asked, reaching up and lightly resting a hand on his chest, he had obviously been frightened by Phillip's yell.

"I could ask you the same thing, I nearly clobbered you!" Phillip scolded slightly.

"I'm not sure if you remember but I own this place." Phineas mused.

"So do I." Phillip replied smoothly.

The two paused for a moment, but Phillip sighed in relief and dropped the plank of wood. He was much more than glad to see the familiar face for a number of reasons.

"What are you doing back?" Phillip asked a tad less stiffly and Phineas shrugged casually.

"You didn't answer my question, Phillip." Phineas said a tad immaturely, he knew how to press Phillip's buttons and he took every opportunity to do so, a wave of satisfaction washing over the older man as Phillip huffed.

"... No reason." He said honestly. "I just... Needed to get out somewhere... Ended up here, now answer my question." Phillip demanded and Phineas paused before turning away for a moment.

"I can't stay away from here." He said simply. "Charity and I spoke of moving west but..." He sighed and shook his head. "... I don't think I can do it." He stated, Phineas normally didn't give away personal information so easily, Phillip was curious why he decided to this time? Perhaps it was weighing on him.

"... Does she know that?" Phillip asked.

"Not exactly." Phineas replied.

"Ah... I'm sorry about that... What are you going to do?" Phillip asked curiously, feeling a slight clench in his stomach as he feared the answer.

"I want my family to be happy but... Everything I've built and everything I am is here... I don't know if I can." Phineas sighed and nodded. "... We just got back into town and I just wanted to see it." He said and motioned above him.

Phillip couldn't understand how Phineas seemed to love so many things... He loved Charity, his children and the circus along with everyone in it, Phillip had trouble just dealing with himself let alone loving anyone else. He convinced himself for the longest time that he was in love with Ann but... He was starting to come to the conclusion that he was in love with the thought of loving her... Not actually being in love, and that was painful, painful enough for Phillip to turn away so Phineas didn't see his grimace.

"We're up in profits fifteen percent this month." He said absentmindedly.

"Good, I knew you'd be a good person to keep in charge here." Phineas chortled softly.

"... Don't put too much faith in me, Barnum." Phillip muttered.

He thought he would be happy to see Phineas, he wasn't  _unhappy_ but it was almost like he was hoping that seeing Barnum would fill the ever-growing hole in him... And it didn't, it only confused and angered Phillip more.

Feeling the slight shift in Phillip's demeanor, Phineas glanced over to him and hesitated for a moment before approaching the other, gently placing a hand on the shorter man's shoulder, who seemed to jump slightly for a moment before turning to him. The intensity of his blue eyes would have  _almost_ been intimidating if the other man wasn't so adorable.

"... Are you alright?" He asked, the question was simple, but as Phillip recalled, he couldn't remember the last time anyone had asked him that... For just a moment, Phillip felt a warm sensation budding in his chest.

"... No." He said simply, but turned away again, the response conjured up a frown on Barnum's visage and he tilted his head some.

His protege had always been a tad on the unruly, even rebellious side... But that's what Phineas loved about him... And now, his partner seemed to be a shell of what he was before he left... And he didn't understand why.

"Phillip, face me." Phineas commanded gently enough and ushered the other to turn by carefully tugging on his shoulder.

Phillip paused and took a breath, he just wanted to hit someone... He wanted to hit someone and make them feel as bad as he did. He just wanted to stop feeling... He wanted to stop being alive...

"Hey." Phineas seemed to call out to him, Phillip blinked, it had been a while since he had thought of something that dark... But it seemed so tempting, his body moved on its own and turned to face Barnum.

While Phillip's expression was mostly neutral, Phineas knew him better than that, and for a moment Phillip hated him for it... Phineas placed both hands on Phillip's shoulders firmly as if to keep the other grounded.

"... What's going on?" He asked seriously, no longer the playful casual ringmaster he usually played.

"Nothing-"

"Bull." Phineas cut Phillip off, but Phillip remained silent, how could he be honest when he didn't know what his problem was?

"... I-... I don't know." Phillip sighed and his head hung. "... I just... I want to drink until I don't feel anything... I want to hit someone, I want to fucking kill someone." He said honestly and brushed Phineas' hands away from him and turned away again, reaching up and gently rubbing his forehead. "I feel like I'm going fucking insane, I just... I just don't want to feel anything anymore... I wish I were dead-"

Without warning, he was swung around and felt a harsh swing from the back of Barnum's hand on his cheek, startling him, to say the least. He gawked at Phineas above him, whose expression had darkened profusely.

"Don't you  _ever_ say those words again, you understand me!?" He asked and gripped Phillip's shoulders harshly, actually causing the shorter man to wince. "We care about you too much-,  _I_ care about you too much, understand? " He growled and Phillip was still so surprised all he could manage was a nod, his cheek stinging from the hit.

Realizing that he had basically assaulted Phillip, Phineas straightened up some but kept his firm hands on Phillip's shoulders until bringing him in for a tight and much-needed hug. Phillip stiffened for a moment, he was never one for physical contact unless it was while he was having sex but for the first time in what felt like his whole life, Phillip felt something ignite within him that he thought truly didn't exist... Even going as far as wrapping his arms around Phineas' athletic frame and holding him close, the familiar aftershave the other wore was comforting...

When Phineas pulled back he looked down at Phillip, concern written in his normally rather goofy expression, reaching up and caressing Phillip's face, if Phillip had known Phineas better the action could have been taken as flirtatious... And the thought made a slight flutter go through both his stomach and his groin, which alarmed Phillip, actually stepping back some to avoid the feeling from metastasizing.

"I want you to come stay with me." Phineas said seriously, Phillip's brows furrowed for a moment.

"What? B-But Ann is at my apartment."

"Okay? She can get here in the morning can't she?"

"W-Well yes but-"

"I'll tell her I'm kidnapping you for a few days to work on some new acts... No one will question it... Please, Phillip." Phineas begged.

"... I-I don't want to take up any room, plus I'm not your guilty burden." He hissed slightly, yet Barnum let the insult roll off his back without even a second thought.

"Phillip I have plenty of rooms at the house... Please, consider it's me begging you..." He said and Phillip sighed softly.

"I-I don't want you to do this out of pity..."

"I'm not... I'm doing it because I'm afraid." Phineas said honestly and Phillip raised a brow. "... You're one of the only people who deal with me yeah..? I-... Can't lose that..." He stated hesitantly.

While Phineas was an expressive man, he was also a mysterious one. He always loved to praise his troop but no one ever truly knew what he was feeling or what he was thinking. He was almost elusive in his own right, it used to bother Phillip but he eventually just accepted that that was who Phineas was as a person... And seeing him being so open with his feelings was almost alarming.

"I-I..." Phillip mumbled.

"Is that a yes?" Phineas asked but didn't wait for Phillip's response. "Great, let's go... I know the girls will be happy to see you but I'll make sure they leave you alone if that's what you wish." He mused as he linked his arm with Phillips and began almost literally dragging him back to the carriage.

Phillip struggled only briefly but eventually submitted, stepping up into the carriage.

"That wouldn't be fair to them at all." Phillip finally managed to chuckle, albeit briefly, but it was something for Phineas to hold on to.

* * *

The ride back to the _retired_ showman's home was tense and silent for Phillip and yet Phineas still maintained his insufferable casual demeanor that made Phillip inwardly cringe. Phillip had been here many times and yet it felt like it was the first time he was stepping foot on the grounds, he felt like such an idiot for disclosing his inner demons to Phineas, he was worried that his older partner would see him as incompetent and cut him out... Before, Phillip would have been more worried about the loss of the income but now... The show was all he had to get up for in the morning and the thought of being pushed out... It made Phillip's gut twist with nausea and sweat gather at his forehead as he reached up and rubbed his eyes and scrubbed his face nervously.

Almost as if Phineas had read his mind, Phillip felt a strong hand placed on his shoulder again, his panicked gaze darting over, the more experienced of the two just gazed out the window into the early morning silent neighborhood. He knew Phillip was afraid of showing weakness, even when he had first met him, drowning his misery in that bar of the dreary and dreadful life of aristocracy.

The life he was trapped in.

Phillip shut his eyes and rested his face in his hands for the remainder of the trip, feeling the carriage stop and that comforting hand that had stayed there the entire drive lifted from him, Phillip managed to pick his head back up and look out to the mansion. He was thankful that it was early enough that Charity and the girls were in bed so they didn't see his undoing.

Phineas got out first and waited patiently for Phillip's silent temper tantrum at being dragged here, but knowing that acting like a petulant teenager would get him nowhere, Phillip eventually hauled himself out of the carriage and shut the door behind him. However, Phillip tensed as he felt an arm come around his shoulders and bring him closer to the other's presence as Phineas began leading him towards the castle of a house. Phineas was probably doing it so Phillip didn't try to escape but... It was still nice.

Navigating the silent hallways, the two men walked down a hallway that Phillip hadn't seen yet, to be fair he didn't go snooping around Phineas' house while he was here. He was lead to a modest bedroom, about as large as his own. The wallpaper was a shade of crimson that Phillip actually liked and his blankets were linen that was white with accents of scarlet to compliment the wall.

"... You didn't have to do this." Phillip muttered and turned to face Phineas, the dim lighting provided by the candle that the other held.

"I know." Phineas said simply before pausing and reaching up to caress Phillip's cheek again, but Phineas' expression was unreadable, was it nothing..?

Was it  _not_ nothing?

"Get some sleep, Phillip... You deserve it." Phineas said before taking his hand away and turning to take his leave.

For a split second, Phillip had an urge to reach out and grab Phineas to prevent him from leaving or to say something... Anything, but he didn't. He watched the men and the light he carried slowly disappear down the corridor before Phillip sighed quietly and shut the door behind him. The first thing he did was draw in the curtains, while it was dark now, he didn't want anything to do with the harsh light of day when it finally showed up.

Reaching up, Phillip ran a hand over his face as he sat on the bed. He flopped backward and stared upwards at the high ceilings. How the fuck did he fall so far and not even realized it until it was nearly too late?

He was thankful for Phineas' bullshit for once... Though of course, he would never tell the arrogant showman that.


	2. Chapter 2

Eyes clamped shut, breathing ragged and let out in huffs in the air... Fingernails breaking skin and tears escaping the blue eyes of none other than Phillip as he clawed at the back on top of him, his own arching into the other as his body was filled with insatiable pleasure. Fierce cries of raw need rung out in his ears that clamored out from his mouth.

"God, Phillip..."

_That voice..._

Phillip's eyes fluttered open... He knew that voice and seeing Phineas actually on top of him... And  _liking_ it, Phillip's hands reached up to entangle themselves in Phineas' hair, his cobalt hues slowly gazing down to look at Phineas in all his glory. He felt... Light and happy.

"Phillip..."

That voice... God, that voice. The way he whispered Phillip's name into his neck, he thought he might die. Phillip couldn't stop the tears from escape his eyes, why? He would never know, he felt divine... Like he meant something.

* * *

 

_KNOCK. KNOCK._

"Phillip..!"

Gasping, the sweat covered man woke up, his eyes darting around the room feverishly. Phillip looked around in a panic, where was he? Did he get drunk and end up somewhere he shouldn't be?

Oh god... Was it another woman's bed?

"Phillip!"

The familiar voice that just moments before had instilled such primal, instinctual desire now making Phillip's blood run cold and yet a small string of relief went through him as he remembered the events early that morning.

"Y-Yes?" He asked, his voice hoarse from just awakening.

"Are you decent?" Phineas asked.

Phillip's eyes widened as he quickly sat up, looking at the rather  _prominent_ erection that had been aroused from the dream.

"I-..." Phillip muttered and swung his legs over the bed and snatched one of the many useless decorative pillows and placed it neatly over his groin. "Yes!" He then said.

Watching the door swing open slowly, seeing Phineas' face nearly made Phillip blush... What in the fuck was he thinking about? What would make him dream something so scandalous so... Demented?

"W-What's the time?" Phillip stammered.

"Nearly noon... How are you feeling?" Phineas asked as he approached the bed and sat down next to Phillip, despite it being nearly an arm's length away, Phillip was still uncomfortable due to the proximity of the other man, he could barely register the question as he desperately moved his arm to make sure his  _friend_ was covered.

"A bit better... I'm still exhausted." Phillip managed a reply, the expression on the other man's face slightly unreadable, but Phillip could see the concern.

"... Is this a new thing or..?" Phineas' questioned bluntly. "Cause if you got a problem I want you to tell me now."

"Which problem?" Phillip scoffed and looked away, the shame enveloping him.

"... The one that's making you want to end your life." Phineas stated clearly and Phillip cringed. "... Well?" Phineas asked after not receiving a response.

At least his erection was gone... Phillip took a breath and reached up, rubbing his eyes.

"... It's always been a problem..." He muttered, knowing that Phineas would see through any lies.

"And the booze?"

"... It made the pain... Manageable." Phillip said, biting his tongue.

Phineas rested his hand onto Phillip's forearm, making the other slightly shy away from the contact, Phineas frowned. It pained him to see Phillip in such a state...

"... How can I help you..?" He asked, nearly pleading.

"You can't." Phillip seemed to growl slightly.

"Phillip, please let me help-"

"There's nothing you can do!" Phillip spat and stood, taking the pillow and throwing it violently. "This isn't something you can just fucking  _help!_ You can't just  _want_ to help me and suddenly I'm all better that's not how it fucking works, I don't want your help!" He yelled and turned to face Phineas who's expression seemed slightly surprised.

It took a lot to surprise  _the_ P. T. Barnum.

Realizing that his words were born out of anger at himself and not at Phineas, Phillip looked away and reached up to shakily run a hand through his hair.

"I-I... I'm sorry..." He murmured remorsefully. "... This is why I didn't want to come here... I'm so angry and I just..."

"It's alright." Phineas said and stood up, approaching Phillip. "... I know that I can't help in spirit but... I'll be with you every step of the way and every moment after that as long as you want me to be." Phineas said as he turned Phillip to face him, his azure eyes widening in complete shock.

Why? Why would this man go out of this way to help him after he had lashed out so coldly just a moment ago?

"... Come on... You need to eat something." Phineas said and reached up to feel Phillip's slightly sticky forehead for a fever, but feeling nothing he nodded to the door and wrapped his arm around Phillip's shoulders as he had done time and time again.

Only this time, Phillip's breath hitched in his throat and he swallowed harshly, nearly leaning into the hold as he felt the familiar twinge in his groin, though thankfully he managed to keep his urges to himself. He didn't try to pull away though, he walked like that with Phineas all the way to the stairs, but Phineas then paused.

"Do you want me to shoo the girls outside so they can leave you be?"

"Of course not... Like I said before, it wouldn't be fair to them." Phillip said softly and actually managed a small half smile, he really did love Phineas' girls, they were the closest thing to his own children even if they could be a little overbearing at time.

Phineas grinned and nodded before the two walked downstairs, the girls had already eaten but they were playing in the foyer and once he and Phillip walked down they gasped loudly.

"Phillip!" Helen screeched as the two raced over and nearly made the man fall with the force of their hugs.

"Hey, there girls." He chuckled as he pryed them away from him so that he could actually kneel down and hugged them tightly, swinging them around in the air before placing them back to the floor.

"Alright, girls let's leave Phillip to eat for a little while alright?" Phineas mused and the girls deflated a bit.

"Don't worry we'll have plenty of time to play, I promise." Phillip said and gently ran a palm over their heads before he allowed Phineas to lead him into the dining room. "Where's Charity?" Phillip asked curiously as they sat down.

"Visiting her parents." Phineas said with only a  _hint_ of distaste, making Phillip raised his brows in slight amusement.

"This is why I'm not married." Phillip chuckled softly.

"Will you be in the future? Anne seems quite taken with you." Phineas noted as he rang a bell that sat upon the table and Phillip obviously stiffened.

"... I don't know." He said honestly. "She's so happy and I... I thought things were going well but... I-I don't think I'm capable of loving anyone and I wouldn't blame anyone for not loving me." He sighed and fidgeted slightly.

"That's a bold claim Phillip." Phineas said, furrowing his brows slightly as a butler walked into the room. "Can you bring us some fresh fruit, it doesn't matter what kind, and some coffee with toast please?" He asked and the butler nodded before walking out of the room before putting his gaze back onto Phillip.

"... It's bold because of it's honest." Phillip murmured.

"What makes you think you can't love anyone?" Phineas asked curiously.

"... I just... I've grown up not feeling loved nor giving it in return I just..."

"You're not saying you're unloveable are you?"

Phillip didn't reply he just looked over to Phineas with a small frown and the other arched a brow.

"Come on Phillip..." Phineas muttered and the other simply shrugged. "Look at the way Ann looks at you..."

"Don't guilt me." Phillip sighed.

"I'm not trying to guilt you I'm trying to let you realize that people care about you." Phineas said and Phillip shook his head as their food arrived. "Now eat before I reach over to you and hit you again." He snorted and took the silverware handed to him before beginning to chomp into the fruit.

Phillip couldn't help but released a small muffled chuckled and watched Phineas mindlessly begin to eat his food. He really wondered what truly went on inside his head sometimes, he was the king of deception and he was shocked that it seemed that he was the only person to really catch on to it... Besides their favorite critic of course. He could never tell if he was talking to P. T. or Phineas and it sometimes frustrated him.

Phillip took a moment to really calm himself for a moment and just focus on eating. He took a sip of his coffee and then took a bite of his toast, he couldn't remember the last time he had eaten anything. Surprisingly enough he managed to finish his light breakfast despite it being noon, he even finished his coffee.

"I just wanted to thank you, P. T. you didn't have to do this for me..." Phillip sighed as their plates were taken away.

"I know but don't worry about it." Phineas mentioned and looked over, seeing a slightly critical expression plastered on Phillip's face. "What?"

"... I'm just trying to figure you out." Phillip replied and Phineas rolled his eyes.

"You sound like Charity." He snorted.

"Yeah and I'm trying to figure out what's bullshit and what's you." Phillip challenged slightly, earning a slightly gobsmacked expression from Phineas.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Oh come on, you can't be believing your own crap... You have this fake mask on all the time but I can't see what's it's hiding." Phillip mused and crossed his arms, and for just a moment, Phineas' happy-go-lucky self faltered, but only for a moment.

"Come now, Phillip... I have nothing to hide." Phineas said and nodded securely, Phillip huffed but decided to drop it for now since he was still staying in Phineas' house.

At the perfecting timing, the front door open and Phillip's head turned towards the foyer and heard the girls and Charity laughing, he felt out of place again in this happy family... Why would anyone want his drunk bitter-self around? As Charity walked into the room she jumped slightly at seeing Phillip but her surprised expression turned into one of happiness and love.

"Phillip! We weren't expecting you today, how's the circus?" She questioned.

"Very good, Charity I can assure you that much." Phillip chuckled in a friendly manner.

"He actually stayed with us last night." Phineas interjected and Charity tilted her head.

"You aren't having trouble with Ann are you?" She asked and seeing Phillip get somewhat uncomfortable, Phineas answered for him.

"Nothing like that he just... Needs a change for a little while." He said smoothly, despite her confused expression, meeting her husbands gaze she knew she would get a proper explanation later and just went with it for Phillip's sake.

"Well I know how much the girls enjoy you and I'm always happy to see you. You're always welcome here." She simpered and Phillip sighed with some relief and nodded.

"Thank you, Charity." He said softly as she reached up and caressed his hair much like a mother would do... Though not ihs mother, he almost felt himself lean into it.

These people were too good for him and he'd never understand how he got so lucky to have a family of his own with the circus... A family that he never had growing up. However with Charity came the girls, Coraline nearly throwing herself into Phillip's lap.

"Can you play yet, Phillip?" Helen asked and Phillip smiled.

"I'm a little tired but we can go to the beach if your mom and dad don't mind." He said as the two gasped and looked over, Phineas and Charity smiling at the prospect.

"I think that's a good idea." Charity said and Phineas nodded in agreement.

The girls squealed in excitement before Phillip suddenly picked them both up in his arms and began hauling them out the door with Phineas and Charity hand in hand, following suit.

Despite his depression truly weighing on him, the sun felt nice on his skin and the girls gave him a sense of purpose even if it were just for an hour or two. Taking a break from their constant energy, Phillip looked out to the ocean, wondering what worlds lied beyond its borders, he didn't even head Phineas approaching him until he looked over and saw the other man standing beside him.

"Beautiful isn't it?" He asked and Phillip nodded in reply.

"I used to want to sail the seas..." He thought out loud and Phineas looked over at him in shock.

" _You_ wanted to be a sailor?" He asked.

"Something like that... It was an excuse to get away from my family." Phillip chortled.

"A good reason at that... I just can't imagine you wanting to be a sailor." He chuckled.

"Why not? I sailed to London to premiere my plays... It was the first and only time I was able to get a real taste of what it was like, there've been more than a few times I've thought of just dropping everything and leaving... Letting everyone think I was dead... But ya know, I let you manipulate me into joining the circus." Phillip teased and Phineas put a hand on his chest.

"Ouch, harsh." He laughed, God he had a nice laugh.

"Yeah well... If anything... You saved me, I would have died out on the ocean, I know my way around a boat but not a thing about navigating." He snickered and Phineas shrugged.

"I'm a good navigator... Maybe we'll have to go one day, you and I, unless you actually get serious with Anne, perhaps we can take her." Phineas chuckled and Phillip shook his head.

"... I'd like it just being you and me." He said and glanced over, seeing a slight change in his expression, not particularly bad but again, his facade dropped for a moment and he could see inside... And his expression, as brief as it was, was something Phillip hadn't seen before, but before he could analyze it further, Helen and Coraline latched onto each one of his legs.

"Okay girls let's leave Phillip alone already." Charity laughed as she approached.

"But mom!" Helen whined slightly.

"It's time for dinner, we've already been out here for over an hour, and these two have to go to the circus tonight, come on now, no buts." Charity ushered gently and the girls groaned.

"You'll see me again but it'll be late before I get home, gimme hugs goodnight." Phillip instructed and kneeled down so that could both hug him, both girls kissing each side of his cheek before reluctantly following their mother, their infatuation crushingly adorable. "I suppose she's right, should we head back?" Phillip asked.

"Nah we got a little bit of time... Unless you want to." Phineas replied.

"Oh, no if you're good I am too." Phillip replied and rested his hands at his hips as he looked out to the setting sun.

He was dreading seeing Ann, but Barnum said he'd have his back... He still felt like a chicken shit. Yet, somehow Phineas always seemed to catch onto his self loathing because he always started distracting him.

"You ever wondered that even though the sun is setting here he could be rising for someone else?" He asked and despite the random question it made Phillip think of something other than hating himself.

"Actually no... Is that true?" He asked and Phineas nodded.

"I thought it was rather romantic, could you imagine lovers being on other sides of the world, the sun setting for one person while the other is looking at the same sunset, though it's rising for them? It just puts things into perepective sometimes, that the world is a huge thing." Phineas explained.

Phillip tilted his head some, he didn't recall Phineas being so... Philisophical.

"Since when are  _you_ romantic?" He taunted softly and Phineas looked insulted.

"I am  _very_ romantic." He defended and pouted.

"Uh huh, yeah you're a romantic? I'm a priest." Phillip snickered.

"Go ask Charity, she and I have had  _many_ romantic encounters on this beach alone." He sid wiggling his brows, making Phillips scrunch up some, for some reason it made his gut tighten at the thought of Phineas and Charity being intimate.

"Gross." He commented simply enough.

"Hey, you started it." Phineas jested.

"How old are you!?" Phillip laughed and shoved Phineas slightly at the childish remark.

"Old enough for you not to question me, my over-compensated apprentice." Phineas declared and Phillip folded his arms over his chest.

"Not question you? What are ya gonna do? Spank me?" He snorted.

"You want me to? Don't tempt me." Phineas mused.

There was something in Phineas' tone of voice that unsettled Phillip in the best of ways... Something oddly serious, the sounds resonating in the other's chest almost like a deep purr and it threw Phillip off for a moment, he  _almost_ blushed, their eyes met and fear mixed with a foreboding sense of excitement settled in Phillip's gut. No words were spoken for a moment, Phillip just breathed, he didn't know what to say. However, Phineas pulled his pocket watch out from his inner coat pocket and nodded.

"Shall we go ahead and get ready, Ring Master?" He questioned and Phillip blinked, bringing himself out of the slight trance before he cleared his throat and nodded.

"I-I suppose so, yes." Phillip affirmed and quickly began following after Phineas.

The discomfort welling within him was a discomfort that didn't make Phillip want to drink and it was a scary thought... Why did he feel that way..? Was it because of the dream?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap this has a lot of views already! Thank you for the positive feedback guys!  
> -Eros


	3. Chapter 3

Despite Phineas' almost flirtatious words from before weighing on Phillip, the show went off without a hitch. They get to the circus just on time that, thankfully, he didn't have time to speak to Anne, but of course, as soon as the show ended, she trudged right up to him with no hesitation.

"Where were you this morning?" She asked, concern lacing her tone rather than the anger he was expecting.

"I'm sorry, P.T. got in last night and he kidnapped me." He lied, expertly enough and she seemed both saddened and relieved, happy even.

"Barnum's back?" She asked, and like clockwork, she looked back behind Phillip to see Phineas approaching from behind, her expression lighting up as everyone began filing towards him.

"P.T.! We thought you were never coming back!" Letti chorused happily as Barnum waved to everyone.

"Yes I know I'm sorry I was gone for so long, and Anne, sorry for stealing your beau but I'm gonna need him for a while to catch me up to speed on some things, do you mind?" he asked and Ann shook her head pleasantly.

"I suppose not, but you better return him to me in one piece." She said and rested a palm on Phillip's chest while the other wrapped an arm around her slender frame, he was truly happy to see her after all.

Phillip leaned in and kissed Ann affectionately, earning a small howl from the group and he cringed softly.

"You all need to get a life." he grumbled, a blush appearing on his cheeks as everyone laughed.

Phineas averted his gaze for just a moment as Phillip kissed Anne, long enough for Phillip to notice it, but he didn't put any thought into it. Phineas was patient as he spent a little time with Anne before secluding himself back to Phineas' house not that he was complaining. He looked down to her eyes... Those beautiful eyes, he felt his heart palpitating. Despite he and Anne having been together officially for a few months now they hadn't slept together yet, and Phillip was alright with it. He was so used to fucking someone on the first date (and it being their last) that it was a nice challenge to wait and he truly didn't mind, but it didn't mean she didn't turn him on.

After his dream about Phineas, perhaps it was just his libido conjuring something desperate after having been celibate for a few months. It helped ease the insecurities of his vision of Phineas on top of him, despite feeling a discreet shiver go up his spine at the thought. He reached up and caressed Anne's cheek, leaning in and kissing her one last time before saying his affectionate goodbyes and walking to Phineas who was waiting patiently outside of the tent.

"And you called me gross, watching you two kids all lovey dovey was nauseating." Phineas joked.

"What's even more disgusting is calling us kids." Phillip corrected with a small groan as they started walking towards Phineas' carriage.

"You are compared to me." Phineas chuckled. "Hence not to question me... Get in." he commanded as he nodded to the carriage.

"Make me." Phillip huffed and Phineas glanced up, people were still hurrying out of the tent he couldn't do anything risque here... Not that he was planning to right?

Without much more thought, Phineas takes a sudden fistful of Phillip's hair and begins to drag him towards the carriage.

"H-Hey ow! What-"

"Your hair is going into the carriage I suggest you follow it." Phineas said simply and Phillip quickly swatted his hand away from his head and reluctantly climbed into the carriage as Phineas wore a grin of victory as he too climbed in.

Despite the rather... Colorful way that Phineas got him into the carriage Phillip had to admit the man was resourceful, he couldn't fault him for that. They arrived home around eleven, and Phillip slowly got used to the idea of coming  _home_... Here.

"You want to share a- Oh... Sorry." Phineas mumbled as they stepped out.

"What?" Phillip asked.

"I-I was going to ask if you wanted to share a drink with me but... Sorry, it's just instinct." Phineas said in a slight embarrassed fashion, he felt terrible for asking, but Philip put up a hand and quickly shook his head.

"It's fine... Please drink, don't feel a need to stop for me... Alcohol is all around me I need to learn to resist the temptation anyway." Phillip assured and Phineas tilted ahead, impressed.

"Well... Alright then." he said before the two walked into the large quiet house and into the study, Phillip already felt a pang of anxiety as he watched Phineas pour himself a glass of brandy, glancing away for a moment until Phineas pointed to some chairs while he lit the fireplace, but before sitting down, he noted Phillip's obvious hardship and quickly offered him a cigar to help distract him, the younger of the two seemed relieved and took one.

"Thank you." He said and Phineas didn't reply before he lit the cigar for him.

Phillip felt better with something to focus on, he inhaled the expensive cigar slowly, relishing the taste as Phillip took a drink of his booze and sat down next to Phillip.

"Good, hm?" Phineas asked and Phillip nodded in reply, smoke billowing from his plump lips as he exhaled.

"Where'd you get these?" Phillip asked curiously.

"Ordered them from Europe." Phineas replied casually and Phillip nodded before he took another drag from the cigar and allowing smoke rings to emerge from his mouth and watching Phineas stare at him slightly, Phillip flushed in embarrassment once more.

"Sorry, too childish for you?" He asked.

"No... How do you do that?" Phineas asked curiously and Phillip was slightly surprised at the question but felt heat rise to his ears as Phineas leaned a bit closer.

"I let my throat to the work honestly." Phillip stated, but seeing Phineas' brows raise, he couldn't suppress the blush any longer. "D-Don't look at me like that." he grumbled.

"Excuse me but you were the one who said it, not I." Phineas chuckled and Phillip rolled his eyes.

"D-Do you want me to show you or not?" He asked and Phineas threw his hands up in surrender and Phillip explained how he allowed the excess smoke to accumulate in his mouth and putting his lips in an o-shape before using his throat muscles to force the smoke out in small puffs, creating the O.

Phineas listened intently of course but he watched Phillip's mouth  _very_ carefully... His perfect mouth, his silky lips, and his experienced throat. It took him a few tries but with Phillip's guidance, he didn't take long for him to make a ring with the cigar smoke, his lips touching something that Phillip had just moments ago.

"See? Not hard." Phillip said with a smile, feeling a small sense of accomplishment at teaching his  _mentor_ something even if it was something small.

"... Well, you make it look so easy..." Phineas mused softly, their faces were still leaned in close to one another, and again Phillip saw that look in Phineas' eyes... Only now he got to really try and determine what it was.

Was it something challenging? Predatory? Phillip still couldn't put his finger on it, but the smirk that followed would have made Phillip's knees feel weak should he have been standing, and just like that, Phineas pulled back again, taking a drink and looking at the fireplace.

"What?" Phillip asked.

"Nothing... But if possible, try to smile more... You have a nice smile." Phineas observed.

Again, there was a slight flirtatious tone to Phineas' voice that confused Phillip and he felt a slight twinge stirring in his trousers, making him sit up quickly and clear his throat.

"I-I suppose. You do as well but we con-men rely on our smiles to make money." Phillip said and continued smoking his cigar and Phineas nodded in reply.

He was so confused, he didn't understand what game Phineas was playing at but he was too scared to ask, what if he were reading the signals wrong and Phineas threw him out? He swallowed harshly, suddenly desperately needing a drink in his hand, after finishing his cigar he threw it into the fireplace and stood quickly, he needed to get the fuck out of this room.

"I'm going to head to bed, P.T. I'll try not to sleep so long tomorrow." He mentioned and tried to make a hasty exit.

"Phillip." Phineas called softly as he stood, Phillip paused before turning to Phineas, the same glint in his eyes still present. "... Sleep well." He said simply enough and Phillip nodded.

"Y-You too." Phillip muttered before he quickly walked out of the study and back towards his room, reaching up and running a hand down his face, realizing there had been sweat gathering at his brow.

As soon as Phillip got into his room he closed and locked his door behind him before he quickly discarded his shirt and unbuckled his pants before he slid them off as well. Once he was pretty much naked, he laid atop his comforter that had been made by the servants earlier in the day. He couldn't stop thinking about Phineas... And as he reached down, an erection had already made its presence known in his underwear. He took a breath and reached inside, slowly releasing it from it's confines and allowing it to come out into the still air.

Phillip gulped and closed his eyes, his hand beginning to slowly slide up and down the shaft, shivering and repressing a small sigh. He began thinking of Anne, her curves, and her beautiful smile... The thought of her on her knees in front of him was all well and good but it wasn't enough... His mind began wandering, and soon enough he began thinking of his dream...

_God, Phillip..._

Phineas on top of him, bucking his hips almost aggressively into his own, his breath breezing at his ear. His sweat covered forehead pressing against Phineas'... The feeling of his lips against the other showman's...

He knew he was close, he paused only momentarily to open the bedside table and pulling the neatly folded handkerchief from it and readied to catch his seed. He wasn't a particular fan of shooting himself in the face with his own load, while it didn't happen all the time, it had been a while since his last orgasm and he knew it was a high possibility. Phillip stifled a small gasped as the familiar clenching of his gut signaling him that release was imminent. He covered his shaft slightly with his handkerchief just in time as his orgasm hit him roughly, forcing a few strangled groans to erupt from his lips.

Once he was certain that his cock was done shooting out any more cum, he balled up the handkerchief and tossed it underneath the bed, figuring he could clean it on his own accord when possible... He didn't want a servant touching his semen, that would be beyond mortifying. He then slipped under the covers, he would definitely have to bathe in the morning but for now... He let sleep take him.

* * *

Days turned into weeks, he had almost moved into the Barnum house, he constantly validated that he was welcome, he didn't want to stay somewhere he wasn't wanted, but Phineas always assured him he was welcome, and Charity wouldn't tell him even if she didn't want him there, though he could tell that Anne was beginning to get slightly frustrated at not being able to see Phillip as often. Even though he felt guilty... Phillip felt at home here... He knew he couldn't stay forever, but the thought was nice.

His thoughts were primarily on Phineas as well, things between them were beginning to become more and more complicated for Phillip. There were little things that Phillip was noticing more and more, like a hand would linger on Phillip's arm or leg when they talked, the looked that Phineas gave him across the room were more and more intense, but Phineas never acted on anything, he didn't even mention it.

Could Phillip be reading it wrong? He had to be wrong, why would Phineas even think about cheating on Charity with him? It made no sense! Phillip didn't even think of Anne when he masturbated any longer, it was always Phineas... His dreams were more and more often and they were always of Barnum on top, plowing him into oblivion... And every time he orgasmed to them they seemed more and more appealing... Even with the taboo and shame against homosexuality... He wasn't a faggot of course right..? He still cared about Anne... What did that make him?

"Hey Charity, where's P.T.?" Phillip asked as he trotted down the stairs, as usual, the girls sticking to him like flies.

"I think he's at the beach." Charity replied.

"This late?" Phillip asked curiously looking to his watch, it was almost nine o'clock.

"Yeah, he likes to brood at the beach." She mused.

Phillip hummed softly as Charity shooed the girls upstairs for bed. Phillip walked out the back door and out towards the beach, narrowing his eyes in the darkness. The beach was calm and quiet, no waves... As he looked out he noticed a small gleam in the distance, a fire? He began trotting over to it, once he stopped at the make-shift fire Phineas was nowhere to be found, he noticed his clothes folded neatly by the fire and Phillip frowned, arching a brow.

"Phillip!" Phineas called, making Phillip jump and look around, looking where it came from.

However a small bit of splashing, Phillip glanced out to the sea, watching Phineas swim towards him and slowly getting out of the water, naked except for his undergarments, making Phillip's breath hitch in his throat and quickly avert his gaze, worried that if he stared too long at Phineas' muscular form, he would end up with an erection which he would never live down.

"I-I was just curious where you were that's all." Phillip muttered softly.

"You wanna join me?" Phillip asked nodding to the ocean and Phillip adamantly shook his head.

"Absolutely not." He stated seriously.

"Why not? It's beautiful." Phineas chuckled and placed his hands at his hips.

"Beautiful or not, there is no way I'm-" Phillip was suddenly cut off as Phineas literally threw him over his shoulder. "W-What in gods name are you doing!?" He screamed.

"I decided you're getting in." Phineas said simply.

"You better not Barnum I swear to god!" Phillip sneered and began beating at Phineas' toned back, hating how small he was at this point in time, his form wasn't small but... Stature wise he was rather compact.

"What are you gonna do?" Phineas asked as he got to about thigh depth.

"I-I'll-"

"You'll what?"

"Goddammit put me down!" Phillip yelled.

"Alright." Phineas said and without any hesitation, he let go of Phillip's smaller form allowing him to fall in the  _freezing water..._ At least he didn't have to worry about an erection now.

"You fucking asshole!" Phillip growled as he quickly stood, a rather smug and victorious smirk plastered on the other's visage as Phillip began stomping towards shore.

"Come on Phillip you're already wet just come back!" Phineas called as Phillip began taking off his dripping shirt, he glared over at the other, his gaze falling on Phineas' perfect form once again and he looked to his clothes before huffing and began undressing as well.

Once he was just down to his underwear he stepped back into the freezing water and slowly followed his partner out some and slowly got used to the cold temperatures. He watched Phineas lay on his back in the water and look up at the stars, he couldn't help his curiosity and did the same. The sky was always so perfect at night... So beautiful...

"You're an ass but this is pretty." Phillip commented and hear Phineas chuckle softly in response.

They weren't far from the short, the calm tide slowly brought them back to the shore and when Phillip felt the sand glide against his back he sat up and sighed quietly, watching Phineas do the same, but looking over he noticed that Phineas was staring at him, he was about to ask why but the other reached out and gently touched one of the scars on Phillip's shoulder and sighed quietly and Phillip gulped and shrugged away.

"They're ugly I know." He muttered, reached up and running a hand over the multiple burn scars on his chest and his abdomen.

"I wasn't thinking that." Phineas replied smoothly and scooted over towards Phillip as he looked over in slight surprise.

"I was thinking that you made them look good." He said and Phillip couldn't stop the blush that formed, Phineas smiled and looked back out to the ocean and leaned back some, resting his weight on the palms of his hands. "Anne is a lucky woman." He muttered softly.

Anne... Phillip didn't even register her name in that moment... All he could see was this beautiful man in front of him who had just  _touched_ him and admired his scars from the fire... All he could hear was the breathless panting and feel the other's skin against his... He was terrified, he bit his lip and looked away.

"W-What are you trying to accomplish here?" Phillip finally asked, watching Phineas look over in complete shock.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't bullshit me now... The way you look at me... The way you touch me... What do you want?" Phillip growled softly and glared over at the other man who didn't reply, he shook his head some. "I should have known." Phillip scoffed and quickly stood, Phineas quickly followed suit as Phillip began grabbing his clothing.

"Ph-Phillip..." Phineas muttered.

"No. I'm not doing this... I'm not going to watch you lie in my face." Phillip said seriously. "I will  _not_ become Jenny." He spat and Phineas backed up a step.

"W-Why would you bring her up?" He asked and Phillip paused and glared over at him.

"She quit because you fucked around with her feelings... I will  _not_ go through the same thing." He said and began walking back to the house.

"Phillip!" Phineas barked and suddenly grabbed Phillip's arm to stop him from walking away. "L-Look I... I'm not trying to... I just..." He stammered, watching Phillip look back at him, his harsh gaze softening slightly. "... I'm scared." He admitted and Phillip paused.

"... So am I." He replied and Phineas' breathing sped up some, reaching up and running a hand through Phillip's hair, the other slowly dropping his clothes.

Without much more hesitation, Phineas reached forward and rested a hand on Phillip's hip and slowly guided the other forward, Phillip's eyes fluttering shut as he felt Phineas' lips press firmly against his...


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyy I'm so SO sorry this fucking chapter took so long, I've been having a lot of issues with my muse but thank you for sticking with it! Plenty of naughties in this chapter for making you wait this long. :3  
> -Eros

Phillip walked into his bedroom, he couldn't believe what had transpired. The kiss was... Amazing, he had never felt anything like it when kissing another person. They had decided since they were covered in sand that they should come back to the house and dry off before...

What did Phineas plan on doing? Was Phillip hoping for too much?

Did he  _want_ to have sex with Phineas?

Reaching up with a fluffy towel in his hands, Phillip quickly ruffled his hair and brushed whatever sand that was left on his legs, glad to be dry. When he changed into a robe and a new set of undergarments, he heard knocking at the door... His heart stopped.

"C-Come in!" He said, watching Phineas walked through the door.

The two stared at each other, both terrified but in the best possible way. Phineas took a breath and shut the door behind him, Phillip was worried, worried that Phineas would tell him that he changed his mind, tell him to leave...

"... If you don't want to... W-We don't have to... We can pretend this never happened." Phineas finally said and the surprised showed on Phillip's face, because Phineas averted his gaze some while he waited for the response.

"No, we can't." Phillip said honestly, watching Phineas look over at him with an unreadable expression.

Phillip swallowed and stepped forward, they were only about a foot from one another, their breathing soft but deep in anticipation for what was to come... And yet, Phineas averted his eyes.

"... What about Anne?" He asked.

"What about Charity?" Phillip quipped back and suddenly the two realized the true dilemma they were at... How selfish they were.

Phineas sighed and reached up, running a hand through his hair as he approached Phillip's bed and sat down upon it, Phillip did the same, sitting beside him. Their gazes locked on the floor for a few hard moments, though it felt like ages. Phillip swallowed his anxieties and spoke.

"... You have much more to lose than me." He muttered and Phineas glanced over with surprise written over his features. "You have a family... The show... If for any reason it got out that we... Well, you would lose everything... I know I'm fifty percent of the show but... Let's face it... I'm a bitter alcoholic-"

"Phillip." Phineas muttered.

"Let me say this..." Phillip said seriously, his critical hues locking onto the other, essentially silencing him. "... I'm a bitter alcoholic with everything and nothing... You gave me something to look forward to and something to cherish... I will not take that away from you... Should you choose the logical decision, one I would probably choose in your shoes, I will leave here and we will never speak of this again... I'll have limited interactions with you until these... Feelings... Fade." He muttered, despite how painful the words were, biting his tongue and looked away afraid that Phineas would choose the right decision, and ask him to leave.

"... You are sure something..." Phineas chuckled softly, reaching over and caressing Phillip's cheek, the other freezing for a moment before turning to look at Phineas.

"Don't patronize me." Phillip groaned and Phineas chortled as he watched color rise to Phillip's cheeks. "... Look right now I... I need to protect myself... I'm an angry drunk, I don't need anything set me off... I just... I need to know where I'm... Well, where  _we're_ gong i-if you understand what I mean." He muttered and Phineas frowned some. "... I-I... I just don't want to get hurt."

Phineas looked at the other who was basically baring his heart to him in a way... And Phineas was honored, but he also understood the possible consequences of his actions. He pulled his hand away and took a breath.

"... I've always fancied men." He confessed and Phillip gawked over at him, this time it was Phineas who tore his gaze away. "... My first kiss was with a boy at the school I attended briefly before I was pulled out..." He said and bit his lip, knowing that revealing his next secret was more than just risky. "... Before Charity and I married I used to... Pay for male company when I could." He said and Phillip tensed, he was shocked to find out that piece of information that he was certain Barnum had never told another person, if that information got out he would be ruined, completely, he must have trusted Phillip a lot.

"... I've never had experience with men I-... Well, when I was a little younger I would get feelings here and there... I thought it was just puberty or something rational but..." Phillip murmured and shrugged his shoulders. "Take what I say with a grain of salt, obviously my head isn't the most stable of places." He snickered to lighten the mood and Phineas looked back over, smiling sweetly.

"... When I saw you at Helen's recital... I asked Charity who you were and I just... Had to meet you. I suppose you could call me a secret admirer." Phineas stated and Phillip reared back in complete shock.

"R-Really?" He asked.

"Surely you know you're a handsome man." Phineas snickered and Phillip reached up to rub the back of his neck.

"I-I mean... I never had issues finding company from women but..." He said, blushing and Phineas smirked, that same predatory glint flashing in his dark pools.

"... What do you want..?" Phineas then asked.

"... I believe I asked you first..." Phillip responded nervously.

"... Maybe I should show you what I want."

"Maybe you should."

Meeting each other's gaze, Phineas reached forward and cupped Phillip's cheek in his hand, the other instinctively leaning into it... Scooting closer, Phineas leaned in once more and for the second time that night... They kissed.

This kiss was far longer and involved, Phillip found that what ignited deep within his core was something he had never felt before... Not even with Anne. He reached up and felt Phineas' hair for the first time... Running his fingers through it, combing through the silky thick locks and gently forming a fist among them, pressing more eagerly into the kiss.

It didn't take long for things to begin getting heated, Phineas slowly began pushing Phillip onto his back... Phillip didn't resist, he shifted some as did Phineas but kept their lips together as Phineas repositioned himself between Phillip's legs. When Phillip felt Phineas' groin rubbing against him, his legs opened a bit further, inviting Phineas in. The older of the two didn't take long to reciprocate, slowly grinding his hips towards Phillip's hearing a small gasp beneath him. Phillip could feel his partner's erection beginning to prod at his own.

Eventually, though, the two separated and breathed deeply together. Phillip's eyes bright with lust while Phineas' exuded dominance and experience. Reaching down, Phineas ran a hand from Phillip's chest to his navel, he had fantasized about this so many times, and now he was actually touching Phillip... His perfectly formed body... His succulent lips, his perky ass.

"... Is this what you want?" Phineas asked.

"... Yes." Phillip whispered breathlessly.

Phineas smiled and sat up much to Phillip's dismay as he watched the other get off of him. He went to sit up to ask what was going on, but seeing Phineas lock the door he didn't feel the need to. Phineas then turned to Phillip, a smirk plastered on his visage as he reached up and began unbuttoning his shirt, exposing himself to Phillip in ways he never had before.

"Undress, handsome." He instructed and Phillip jumped slightly, biting his lip as he sat up and began repeating Phineas' motions.

He paused though when he went to open his robe, the scars from the fire were still prominent, and despite Phineas complimenting them earlier he was still very self-conscious. He used to have a bigger ego than he already did, but since the fire etched permanent markings on his flesh, he was humbled in a way. Seeing Phillip hesitate, Phineas approached him and reached forward, resting his hands on Phillips and gently ushered them apart, opening his robe. Phillip averted his gaze as he once again, revealed the scars of that horrible night.

"You are so gorgeous..." Phineas whispered and Phillip looked up at him in awe.

"Yeah right..." He murmured in response.

Phineas frowned at this... And suddenly kneeled down in front of Phillip, reaching in and resting his palms on Phillip's waistline. Phillip gasped softly and looked down at Phineas before the other leaned in and placed very delicate kisses on the discolored areas on Phillip's abdomen. He slowly made his way around and up before pecking his neck and pulling Phillip's hips closer.

Watching the erotic sight, seeing Phineas kissing his scars was something he'd always cherish... Leaning his head to the side he moaned softly and wrapped his arms around Phineas' neck. He'd never understand why Phineas would do something of that nature, he could explain it millions of times and Phillip would still doubt.

"Do you believe that you're beautiful to me now?" Phineas whispered against Phillip's flesh.

"No..." Phillip chuckled softly, but honestly, Phineas huffed softly and pulled back some, meeting Phillip's eyes.

"Then I'll make you feel it." He said seriously and reached down, beginning to unbuckle his pants, then reached forward and slipping his fingers beneath Phillip's shorts and tugging them gently.

Phillip blushed and nodded before Phineas tugged them down some, Phillip had never been exposed in front of a man like this before, shivering as Phineas' hands rested upon his hips and slowly reaching around to his ass, squeezing them. Backing up Phillip to the bed, Phillip dropped his robe to the floor and feeling his back come in contact with the bed as he fell onto it.

"Sh-Shouldn't you take off your pants too?" Phillip asked, cursing himself for stuttering, Phineas paused but smirked, shrugging his shoulders.

"I suppose you're right." He mused and took his pants off slowly.

Phillip propped himself on his elbows and watched as Phineas exposed himself, he had an impressive erection, almost intimidating actually. Phillip took a breath as Phineas stepped in front of him. Reaching forward, Phineas caressed the scars on Phillip's body. Phillip gulped and quickly sat up and pulled Phineas' head down, kissing him quickly, needily, Phineas reciprocated generously, shoving his tongue into Phillip's mouth. Phillip moaned and ushered Phineas on top of him, Phineas did as asked and reached down to wrap Phillip's legs around his waist, panting when they separated.

"Someone's ready..." Phineas chortled richly and Phillip grunted some.

"I'm just done being teased." Phillip grumbled and Phineas raised his brows.

"Oh are you?" He asked.

"I am..." Phillip affirmed.

"Well... Then I suppose we should get started." Phineas mused before he suddenly pulled back and kneeled down onto the floor.

"W-What are you-"

"Just relax." Phineas instructed and Phillip bit his lip before he did his best to do so.

Phineas reached forward and took hold of Phillip's hard member, hearing Phillip gasp softly. Phineas grinned before he leaned forward, running his tongue from the base to the tip. He was a man who believed that he needed to give as much as he took, if he thought a man was worthy of it, he didn't mind sucking a cock. He then spat some of his saliva onto the head of Phillip's member before sliding his hand downwards to lubricate Phillip's dick. He then began to slide his hand up and down his mouth engulfing the head, hearing Phillip moan approvingly. He felt Phillip's cock flex in his grasp, moaning softly onto the shaft.

"Fucking hell P. T.!" Phillip yelped and shuddered. "You're such a fucking tease..." He whimpered.

"Phillip, call me Phineas." Phineas urged and Phillip shivered but nodded despite knowing Phineas couldn't see him.

Phineas then leaned downwards, his hand still pumping Phillip's length, before peering at Phillip's perfect opening. Leaning in, Phineas ran his tongue over the opening, causing Phillip to gasp louder than before, trying to lessen the volume of his moan. Phineas kissed the hole, continuing to lick quickly.

"Fucking hell Phineas, p-please..." Phillip panted out.

"Please what?" Phineas crooned, loving hearing his name slurred by Phillip's moaning.

"P-Please fuck me..." Phillip replied.

Phineas didn't need to hear it twice, he pulled back and stood back up, looking over Phillip's panting, sweat covered body... God, he was so amazing. Reaching up he spat again into his hand before stroking his own dick quickly and positioning himself at Phillip's entrance.

"You ready?" He asked, Phillip swallowed but nodded.

Phineas took a breath before beginning to push inwards, shuddering and groaning as Phillip's walls gave away and allowed him entry. Feeling Phillip's muscles clutch onto him so tightly he had to take a moment, hearing Phillip inhale sharply and seeing him cringe. Phillip would be lying if he said he'd never...  _Explored_ down there but it was nothing like this, it was painful and for a moment he considered telling Phineas to pull out but he couldn't, seeing the pleasure contort Phineas' visage, that was worth the pain.

"You alright down there?" He asked.

"I-It hurts..." Phillip muttered.

"I know... Need me to pull out?" Phineas questioned, concern coming over his features and Phillip quickly shook his head.

"N-No... It's okay... Kiss me?" He asked, blushing from the question but Phineas smiled, leaning down and connecting their lips together.

Phineas pulled out slowly before pushing in again, Phillip grunting softly into the kiss. He repeated the process until he was almost completely inside of Phillip and the man beneath him wasn't flinching as much. Phineas pulled back again, moaning softly before he began thrusting, Phillip panting quietly and leaning his head back as he finally started to really relax and enjoy the sensations.

"C-Can you go... Faster?" Phillip asked and Phineas grinned. "P-Please..." He begged.

All the men that Phineas had been with before were all hired prostitutes that had been used by countless men... He had never been with someone so untouched and eager for more. He released a small sigh and leaned down, beginning to kiss Phillip's neck again, able to smell the other's natural musk from the sweat from sex, it was like Phillip was his bitch in heat, releasing all kinds of pheromones in the air... Despite feeling somewhat perverted at the thought, he couldn't help that it felt so damn right...

Phillip moaned softly and ran his palms over the expanse of Phineas' back, feeling multiple scars of his own, he'd have to sneak a peak when he wasn't being fucked. Pulling back, Phineas met Phillip's bright gaze as he started some gentle grinding motions, earning a slightly high pitched moan from his younger partner.

"Y-You're big..." Phillip panted and smiled up at Phineas, coming to the full realization that he was living out his wet dream of being fucked by his  _mentor._

"I know... You're so tight..." Phineas mused and grinned, making Phillip huff softly, knowing that he stroked Phineas' already grand ego.

Before Phillip recognized the feeling, he was starting to really enjoy what was happening. The pain was forming into pleasure... A pleasure that he had never experienced before, he had heard of colleagues being caught up in the scandal of homosexuality and before he never understood how... But as he felt Phineas' cock thrust it's way through him, rubbing against the  _best_ places that his fingers couldn't reach... He was beginning to grasp why...

The room was soon filled with moans and breathless panting as Phineas' pace evolved from slow and gentle to swift and savage, hearing the slapping of their skin against each other as Phineas' hips met Phillip's. Phillip just hung on for the ride as his erection began to eagerly drip with anticipation of an oncoming orgasm.

"P-Phineas I'm gonna cum..." Phillip whimpered as Phineas bit rather harshly onto his neck, making Phillip yelp some in pain.

"Good..." The other grunted and stood back up straight so he could look down at Phillip as his body twitched and writhed with pleasure.

Phillip was so fucking magnificent in the throws of passion, his face was ablaze with crimson and his chest shining with sweat, some saliva lightly slipping down his chin from the overwhelming sensations. He wanted to see more of this... He wanted to see this every fucking day... Soon, Phillip wasn't able to contain himself, he suddenly felt his orgasm wash over him, somewhat literally as his stream of cum spurted from the head of his anxious member coating his chest and abdomen. Phineas soon pulled out and did the same, his own semen mixing with Phillip's as the two panted breathlessly.

Phineas hung his head for a few moments before picking it back up, he then leaned down and suddenly ran his tongue over the mixture of their aftermath and kissed Phillip, forcing his tongue into the other's mouth so he could taste how amazing they tasted together. Phillip gasped softly but reciprocated the kiss with a small groan. When Phineas finally parted his lips again Phillip's eyes fluttered open.

"You're gross." He commented.

"I didn't see you complaining now did I?" Phineas chortled as he looked over Phillip's cum-stained body again.

"What are you staring at, get me something to clean up with." Phillip grumbled.

"Bossy little thing... I was admiring how you looked with my cum all over you." Phineas snickered.

"Again... You're gross." Phillip scoffed as Phineas walked into the bathroom that the bedroom had access to before wetting one of the towels, and tossing it to Phillip once he walked back into the room.

Phillip didn't waste any time in wiping  _both_ of their orgasms off of his midsection before sitting up and tossing the towel away.

"Maybe next time I'll just do it inside you..." Phineas said as he bent down in front of Phillip. "If you want there to be a next time, of course." He added.

Phillip couldn't help but blush at the prospect of Phineas cumming inside of him... Just the thought made his flaccid member slightly twinge with excitement.

"... I figured that would be up to you..." Phillip said as Phineas walked over to his side and laid onto his back on the bed. "L-Like I said before, you have more to lose than me..."

Phineas glanced over as Phillip also laid onto his back, he rolled over onto his side and propped his head on his elbow, looking over Phillip's scarred body with admiration. He rolled back onto his back and reached over, wrapping an arm around Phillip, ushering him closer, which he obliged to.

"I see it as... As long as we're careful... There's no reason to stop this... I haven't felt this alive in years." Phineas sighed and leaned over to kiss Phillip's head.

"... That... Sounds good." Phillip whispered quietly.

"Good... I dunno about you but I'm freezing." Phineas said.

"Me too..." Phillip chuckled, glancing over before he sat up and hesitated. "I-If you need to... You know, go... You can, you don't have to stick around." he muttered nervously.

"... I will for a while if you don't mind."

"I don't mind." Phillip said a little too eagerly for his own liking.

Phineas smiled and stood up, offering a hand to Phillip, which he swatted away and stood up, feeling a pang from their  _activities._ He was thankful that he didn't show it before pulling up the covers and slipping into them, allowing Phineas to slide in beside him. Despite his pride, Phillip scooted over and leaned into Phineas' body as the other as the older of the two, again, wrapped an arm around him.

Phillip had always thought of himself to be kind of a dominant person but... When it came to Phineas... He'd be his bitch any day of the week, but he was smart enough never to utter that out loud. It didn't take long for sleep to overtake him...

* * *

When he awoke the next morning, his bed was empty, glancing around he huffed softly, he was still naked... Looking over to the ground, he noticed that Phineas' clothes were gone. He must have left sometime during the night, of course, he couldn't stay with him, he had a wife and kids in the house. The thought of seeing Charity finding out that he had just fucked her husband... A churn of nausea went through him and he was quick to think of something else.

He sat up and stretched some before he walked into the bathroom to start a bath. When the water began steaming he plugged the bath and then walked over to the mirror, raising his brows as he saw a few marks from the night before etched all over his neck... And for some reason... He loved it. Normally he never allowed his partner to mark him in any way during sex, he didn't like belonging to anyone... Except to Phineas.

Sinking into the bathtub, he sighed in relief at the soreness radiating in his lower region being soaked. He ran a hand through his hair and made sure to get thoroughly clean after the night previous before he changed into a new, clean set of clothes. He was a little intimidated to see Phineas as well, how would he react? How did he want Phillip to react? That was a stupid question, just act normal...


End file.
